Cartoons by Eli & Eva

 Concepts by Eli Goodman, illustrations by Eva Vikman

There are currently over 350 cartoons, with many more on the way. These are just a few of them.

Sadly, the euphoria of the simple-minded Republican life has always eluded me.

It’s always nice to see doctors and their assistants on a first-name basis. After all, medicine is a team game.

Persistence and commitment to excellence are the essences of golf— applicable to physicians, cartoonists, and just about all of us.

Coal and fossil fuels are not the only power sources that energize Republicans.

Contrary to stereotypical belief, Republicans of color do, in fact, exist.

“At the end of the day,” boys and girls... well, the day simply ends. But it seems that trite speech will always be there for us the next morning. Alas, it is what it is.

Physicians should be aware that a sudden inability to text may be a cardinal manifestation of disease.

The eternal competition between competence vs bedside manner is a true conundrum. Can the two ever co-exist in superior states?

Cellular physiology no doubt contributes to the wonders of romance.

No one should ever underestimate the fortitude of the 1%.

Republicans openly regret that it took them this long to recognize Robin Hood’s potential.

No matter how competent or not one may be, it always pays to be nice.

Renowned polar explorers have always insisted that there IS kale in them there ice fields and glaciers.

Law Of Nature: As a person texteth or tweeteth, so that person shall become.

Maybe we should define the “New age of enlightenment” as the time when Republicans will appear only in movies.

Both Dr. G and I remain captivated by past, present, and future exes.

It’s always fascinating to observe mankind’s perpetual search for the impossible.

Mail is life. Life is mail. Speed only counts in sports and physics. The epistolary way is always the write way to be.

One of my favorite quotes (author unknown to me) is this one: “An unused stamp is but half a contract.” As you can see, it’s a matter I take it very seriously.

I believe that ultimately it will be pizza that brings all of us to a better state.

Yes, I DID just order and consume 2 Big Macs without meat. Rather pedestrian, but edible. Cheese Whoppers without meat taste better, I think.

I’ve often wondered what is the source of Republican beliefs.

But technology not yet invented to help me sink those 6-foot putts.

Dr. G has always subscribed to the theory that good medicine involves a substantial amount of panic.

Republican heroism always gives us pause.

Let’s face it: Dr. G has never been cut out to be a Republican.

There will come a day when vegetarians and vegans get proper respect.

Most likely, Dr. G now wishes he took that offer several years ago to settle down in Chad.

For vegans, golf has always presented strong conundrums.

My Republican friends assure me that good beer will see us through the return of bad air.

“What if...” is always a tough way to live.

Dr. G has had a lot of dreams.

We need to remind ourselves periodically of golf’s inherent element of danger.

No sacrifice of the social contract too great in the pursuit of Republican Olympic Gold.

No question that I’ve had my lifetime share of terrific ex and divorce.

The boundaries of golf and life have always perplexed me.

My inside sources tell me that “RATIONAL REPUBLICAN” was a close runner-up.

Existentially speaking, you are what your golf game says you are.

Anthropological and political sciences have nothing over the Bible.

The rangefinder mitigates my tendency to over-club myself.

What would we do without sports?!

More Republican psychiatrists needed to minimize obsessions in kids. In adults too, for that matter.

A sense of entrapment has been forever part of my game.

Not much else left in life to not master.

Can there possibly remain any doubt about how it all began?

My world would surely be less complex if I learned how to be a Republican.

Nothing like societal challenges to fire up our Republican friends.

Magicians must surely admire Republicans the most, as both utilize to the maxx diversion, distortion, deflection, and deception.

The exes probably also forget Dr. G’s, as well.

All of us (and apparently everything else in the universe) are connected— to Olney, Illinois.

Everyone, including Republicans, loves movies.

Who says that Republicans eschew math and science!

Medical protocols have always perplexed me.

Maybe poverty is the solution to our trash problem.

Having been all my life “high touch, low tech,” Dr. Flippp’s (yes, with 3 p’s) new app intimidates me.

In theory, all windbags eventually run out of air.

And let’s face it, internal medicine has never been for me an easy operation, either.

It appears that my lifelong quest to hit a golf ball straight has been a misguided one.

 I thank the Creator that the Creator gave me the insight to be both a Rotarian and a Democrat, as I never had the courage and strength to be a SEAL.

Further proof that for every conundrum there is always a logical explanation.

Let’s acknowledge that great medical care should also include convenience.

The years sure go by quickly— it’s already 170 on Jupiter.

"It must be tough to be a Republican these days, as so many folks out there seem incapable to find Republican entreaties useful."

No enlightenment ever evident in Republican radio’s perpetual absences of debate and doubt. Nothing but KRAP 24/7, indeed.

Being high touch, low tech, has always been a troublesome way to live.

Also why I’m not a vet, dentist, SEAL, or astronaut.

Decent shopping is a hallmark of the new social order.

“You Only Live Twice.”


OK, boys and girls: There’s been much gossip out there that despite the fact that I am a congenital Democrat who daily gives thanks to The Creator that The Creator did not make me a Republican, I actually share much in common with Donald Trump. Perhaps so. DT and I are essentially the same age. We both went to Penn for our undergraduate studies, and we both have a bunch of ex’s. While we do not share the same religion, we both love Israel and the Jewish people.

But most important, I think, is that we both believe this maxim taught to us by a legendary Penn professor of religious studies: “If it rhymes, it must be true.”
(No fake news here: The lyrics to DT’s favorite song above derive from the eponymous theme song— sung by Nancy Sinatra-- of the 1967 James Bond movie, “You Only Live Twice.”)

True liberation! Dave Ramsey needs to hear about this.

We hear that nothing is impossible, but golf probably comes close.

From the treasured “RTTA Manual Of The Meaningful Life”: “It is never wise to squander wealth on the social contract.”

It is an amazing Republican strategy that the best way to handle societal challenges is to ignore, vilify, defund, and eliminate efforts to solve the challenges.

For better or worse, I can say with all confidence that the Republican chromosome has never run in my family.

It’s no myth that dragons & I don’t get along.

My Republican friends seem proud of any wall that shuts out hopes of a better social order.

It’s not easy these days to overcome the lack of hardship to become a star. We need more success stories like this one.

Despite this magazine’s popularity, I still fear that my Republican friends demonstrate no real interest to help repair our broken world.

Maybe this is why I always tend to run late in the clinic.

I envy my Republican friends that they have their very own magazine.

"I personally think vegans make the best future ex's."

I wonder if the Kremlin’s Komcast rates are better than those we get here.

Is it possible that even a decent Republican might represent a danger to us?!

There will always be that rare Republican who occasionally steals a glimpse ahead— beyond the 11th century.

Ah, to be Republican and free. Can’t beat it.

Fortunately, this pumpkin finds himself with access to an excellent “PPO” (Pumpkin Provider Organization).

Proper medical care for pumpkins is no joke, boys & girls— especially on Halloween.

“TUSM,” by the way, stands for Tufts Univ. School Of Medicine— my med school alma mater. Fabulous school. Located in Boston— a cool city that even Philadelphians can appreciate.

Republicans apparently have solved the intellectual conundrum that it is possible to love one’s country, but not necessarily its people.

Republicans apparently have solved the intellectual conundrum that it is possible to love one’s country, but not necessarily its people.

Physicians should always secure the safety of their patients.

Indeed, let's keep pure our pristine land.

I suppose it's finally time for me to learn how to "Skype."

Indeed, why would we need anyone ruin the grandeur of "Middle America."

My Republican friends insist there's nothing that capitalism can't fix.

And here I had thought that Philly was the center of the universe.

At last, a cartoon that even my Republican friends should enjoy.

Golfers at times are actually useful to the world at large.

When it does happen, excellent medical care is truly out of this world.

“I’m disappointed that croquet season is over.”

Some of us can't see the forest for the kale.

“As an internist, my diagnosis of Dr. G’s condition would be 'chart deficiencies anemia. I don’t think it’s all in his head.“

"I, too, can't live without my stapler. I hate paper clips."

“I daily give thanks that Republicans are always there to inspire us.”

"Internal Medicine continues to evolve."

I've never quite been sure what "existentialism" is or means, but I think this dog probably has it right.

"Always remember to tip well your busy internist."

Occasionally, one might see dumb people off the golf course, as well.

Fake news is less likely when there are flies on the wall.

Maybe it is possible to master golf, after all. And we all know that great golf is vital to a good marriage.

DT may be right: To help those in need is rarely a good business opportunity.

“It takes a vegan village - to make life great for all living creatures.”

"Golfers should choose carefully their spouses."

"Golfers should choose carefully their spouses."

"Gomer Goober, MD confirms what we already knew— that golf is tougher than medicine."

"Our Republican friends have contributed mightily to the latest in medical science.

My fellow internist, Dr. Goober, proves that "it's never too late."

"There is so much to be said about "holism."

“We pay tribute to those who patiently stand, drink, and listen.”

“Proud to say that medical science is up for any challenge.”

“Proud to say that medical science is up for any challenge.”

“Proud to say that medical science is up for any challenge.”

"Another reason that I am not a rich doctor."

"Nice to know that no opportunity will ever elude our Prez."

"My fellow internist friend can't seem to catch a break."

“Hat’s off now to my Republican friends who have the vision to make narrow-mindedness not something that only the wealthy can afford.”

"Now I know why my Republican friends call themselves 'visionaries'."

"Now I know why my Republican friends call themselves 'visionaries'."

"We Democrats should also be appreciative of these significant medical breakthroughs."

"Fortunately, for the vulnerable wealthy, not everyone thinks like this bozo."

"1807- It was a very good year"

"Pleased to report that all the patients in this scene had CAT scans of their paper cuts that showed no extra damage."

"Pleased to report that all the patients in this scene had CAT scans of their paper cuts that showed no extra damage."

"I think I know this guy's brother, 'Mr. Canard.'"

"Yet another excuse to explain why I am not a wealthy man."

"Everyone seems so worried these days about global warming."

"Maybe this explains the imperfections in my game."

"Gets confusing, apparently--Hanukkah & Christmas on the same day!!"

"Love at first post."

"Dr. Flippp's (yes, with 3 p's) practice continues to grow."

"The Real Key To A Great Romance."

© 2016 Eli Goodman, M.D.
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